Fall Into You
By Donna Maria Coles Johnson

In life, we start with nothing. As we mature, we invest more and more consciously in renewing and reinventing ourselves. As we move from one season of life to another, especially the many seasons of motherhood, our family members change, our community changes and the world changes. In order to live the fullest possible life, we must be in a constant state of adaptation to those changes. Through it all, we focus so much on helping others adapt that we sometimes forget about our own needs. Of course as mothers, there are times when we must put the needs of others ahead of our own. That’s the nature of the job and also a part of being human. On the other hand, we are not required to sacrifice ourselves to be good mothers, nor do we have to sacrifice motherhood to be “good selves”. We can be both if we take the time to “fall into ourselves” – to discover and nurture the things that make us who we are, and who we will be, separate and apart from family, community and the world.

1. Focus On Where You Are.
Enjoy each moment as it is offered to you. After all, this second right now is really the only time you are assured of. Why not do everything you can to enjoy it? Enjoy the content smiles of your children as they snuggle next to you after a warm bath. Relish the moments in the middle of the night when your husband curves his body around yours and holds you tightly. Drink in the moments when everyone is away from the house and you can enjoy an article from a good magazine or have a sip or two of your favorite chilled wine. Be thankful to be surrounded by the people you love, and the people who love you, even when you’d like nothing more than to spend two uninterrupted hours in the tub. (And be sure to do that regularly too!)

2. Aim For Where You Want To Be.
As you enjoy the moments and live them to the fullest, don’t forget to use them as steppingstones to the future. Fall deep within yourself and ponder where you want to be after your children are grown. My friend Leslie is a home manager, wife and mother of 3 children whom she home schools. She is a talented speaker on the topics of time and financial management. She is the Queen of Organization and her tapes and written materials are some of the most useful tools I have ever found. While Leslie enjoys helping others to become more organized, she has looked deep within herself and discovered that for now, she feels called to devote only a small amount of time to speaking so she can focus more on family. Even though she rejects many speaking engagement opportunities each year, she remains conscious of where she wants to be in the future. Each opportunity is weighed to determine where it fits in the grand scheme of things. Leslie is more likely to accept a speaking engagement if it complements where she wants to be once her children have left home. Leslie enjoys where she is now, but she is also looking to and planning for the future.

3. Employ The Art Of Positive Self-Talk.
As you fall into yourself, you may become discouraged or disheartened about some matter in your life. Maybe you have not lost all of that baby weight. Perhaps you don’t feel like you have the time to keep the house as tidy as you’d like or maybe you’re down on life in general because the home budget is stretched thin already and the holidays are fast approaching. For every negative thought you have, there are at least a ga-billion positive ones to counter it so why not use the art of positive self-talk to turn a negative moment into a shining event? To do this, fall into yourself and consider changing the paradigm through which you are viewing each issue that brings about a negative feeling. For example, consider that you can aim for size 4 and still be darned fabulous at size 8 (or 10 or 12 or 20 …). You may not be able to clean the whole house in a day, but you can make a section of at least one room sparkle from top to bottom and feel good about it. There may have been more time than money left at the end of September but you can still infuse your love into a warm, healthful family meal and be thankful that “this too shall pass.”

This fall season, practice the art of falling into yourself daily to enjoy who you were created to be for this time in your life and to prune your personal goals and aspirations. Enjoy were you are. Envision where you want to be and maintain a constant stream of positive self-talk to help make the most of each and every day.

Donna Maria is a wife, mother, attorney, author, speaker, publisher and president of the Handmade Beauty Network. She has shared her Lifestyle CEO message on ABC World News, Chicago Tribune, Houston Chronicle, Washington Times, Ebony Magazine, Parents Magazine, Washington Business Journal, Upscale Magazine and others. She lives in Maryland with her husband and children. She can be reached at donnamaria@lifestyleceo.com.