The Pleasure Principle

If there’s one thing we women are experts at, it’s putting our pleasure needs on the back burner. Yes, I said PLEASURE! You know, that stuff we used to do before we had a grocery list a mile long and a minivan full of folding chairs to watch the soccer games. Our pleasure needs are vital ones. There was a reason that we stayed in the bathroom for two hours straight when we were teenagers, slathering lotion all over our bodies and plucking anything and everything that dared to be a nuisance. It’s the same reason we feel the irrepressible urge to roll down the windows and sing at the top of our lungs as we’re driving down the road today. We all need to feel pleasure in our life. If you’re one of the millions of moms that have tucked the idea of pleasure down deep in your hope chest then perhaps it’s time to get that need out, dust it off, and fill it up.

Think Retro
If you don’t even know where to begin to experience pleasure, then turn back the clock for a while. What did you love to do when you were in the prime of your youth? Did you love to have long, luxurious spa nights with your friends? Did you eat delicious food without even a smidgeon of guilt? What were your favorite dates? Did you go dancing on the weekends or did you prefer quiet romantic dinner dates? Or maybe you just enjoyed checking to make sure the parking brakes worked on that dark, deserted street? Think back and picture what you loved to do, what really made you feel alive, and think of ways to incorporate some of that in your life today. You can still invite friends over for a spa night. And go ahead and enjoy that entire pint of ice cream. And, by the way, there are babysitters and there are parking brakes. Why not give hubby a surprise on your next date night?

Get Rid of the Guilt
Many of us were taught from an early age to somehow connect the dots between pleasure and guilt. If it makes us feel good, then it must be wrong. Bad, bad thoughts! Let them go. Give yourself permission to feel alive. This world has so much to offer. True pleasure is that feeling that leaves us full and empowered. Ill pleasures leave us empty and ashamed. Make room in your life for pleasure that is true and good. Let your senses feel alive and stimulated. Get up early and witness an amazing sunrise. Listen to loud music and sing along. Eat something completely exotic and decadent. Surround yourself with scents that are rich and intoxicating. And touch! Quit denying yourself this pleasure. Enjoy an evening of romantic massage. Do something crazy (even if you have to check out an embarrassing book out of the library and stop by the grocery store for a canister of whipped cream).

Put Yourself Out There
The biggest roadblock you are going to face in feeling pleasure is taking on the risk of acquiring it. Pleasure usually means laying something on the line, making a request, or risking embarrassment. But, honey, life is short and it’s just getting shorter. The time to live is now. Your life can be full of pleasures, but it’s up to you to reach out and embrace them.